Well,
maybe we don’t say that —at least not in any over
yonder I happen to be from. Many Neapolitans, however, are
quite convinced that they are, indeed, saying precisely that whenever they
caution someone with the phrase “Non sfrocoliate la mazzarella di San
Giuseppe!" [also spelled in some sources as sfrogoliate].1
To set the sociolinguisticscene for you: in a
situation where someone is haranguing and nitpicking you
to death with the same old point over and over, like a
broken record click broken record click broken record
click... (if you are very young, we used to have records
in the caves next to our manual typewriters)...and you
want to shout, “Give it a rest!” or “Put a sock in it!”,
Neapolitans might tell that person to “Non sfrocoliate la
mazzarella di San Giuseppe!"
San Giuseppe refers, of course, to Joseph, the
husband of Mary and foster-father of Jesus. Mazzarella is a cane
or walking stick, but in this case, according to the first
seven Neapolitans I asked about this expression, it's a
euphemism for penis. “I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it,”
they all giggled. Yes, indeed, it’s obvious, but in a
kingdom of the blind, even a one-eyed beggar is a phallic
symbol.
The real story is that mazzarella
really does mean walking stick or cane. (Oh, if you retell
this story, please try to keep the difference in
pronunciation straight between mazzarella and mozzarella, in which latter case, you’d
be talking about Joe’s buffalo cheese.) Where was I?
Right—walking stick. I have this information from one of
the greatest goldmines of Neapolitan lore ever written: to
wit, Feste,
Farina e Forca by Vittorio Gleijeses(1919-2009) a
Neapolitan scholar and historian. I am looking at the 3rd
edition of the book (1977). Even the title is a
treasure: feste=celebrations;
farina=flour; forca=gallows. Those
were the proverbial "Three F's," said to be the keys to
keeping the masses in line under the autocratic rule of
the Bourbon dynasty. It's a variation of the Latin of
Juvenal, who complained that the once proud Romans, who
“sold our vote to no man” now seemed to be interested in
only two things:panem et circenses, that is, bread
and games. (He might have added TuTubum, if he were alive today).
Gleijeses’ book is a compendium of Neapolitan festivals,
big and small, and Neapolitan cuisine, with a few pages on
the ghastly spectacle of public hangings.
I paraphrase his story of St. Joseph’s mazzarella.
It seems there was a cane, a religious
relic, believed to have belonged to Joseph. Somehow the
relic wound up in England and was brought to Naples in
the 1700s by the singer Grimaldi (2) and
stored in the chapel of his home on the Riviera di
Chiaianot far from the church of San
Giuseppe. (3)On the feast
day for St. Joseph, March 19, the relic was opened to
the public. The faithful flocked to the walking stick,
as they did on subsequent occasions when it was on
display. At a certain point the majordomo noticed that
the relic was skinnier than it used to be! Some of the
faithful had been using knives to help themselves to
little bits of the cane! Thus arose the warning to all
who came to view: 'Non
sfrocoliate la mazzarella di San Giuseppe!' or
'Don’t whittle on the cane!'
After Grimaldi died, there were lengthy legal battles over
who would get custody of the relic. Gleijeses believed
(when he wrote the book) that it had wound up in the
church of San Giuseppe dei
Nudi, not far from the National Museum. I must admit
to some nervousness when I walked into that church and
asked a nun if I might see the mazzarella of St. Joseph. Would she
blush? Hit me with thing? I must have been really nervous
because she just giggled and said, “What would San Giuseppe be
doing with buffalo cheese?”(4)
*1. Technically, the verb can be used
generically to mean worry, vex, irritate, bother,
pester. It is one of the many Neapolitanisms that have
crept into standard Italian. [back to
text] *2. ref to Nicolò Grimaldi, famous
castrato singer, who died in Naples in 1732. *3. This
church *4. OK, no, but I did go into the
church, found the display and took the photo at the top
of this page, showing what is apparently St. Joseph with
his mazzarella.